Maybs - Pt2

[maybs]

I think it made me feel better.
Like yeah she confirmed some things that were not stellar but I really already knew so it didn't really change anything. It was nice to see her and talk to her about everything and hear that my in laws are all supporting me so much and don't know wtf my W is doing with her life anymore.

Plus having input from someone who doesn't see me everyday also helped me feel more confident in my GAL activities and everything else that I'm doing for myself, because obviously it is working.

My date is tonight. I have a lot of feelings about it. I'm nervous because I feel like I haven't dated in forever. I'm also excited about it. And then on the other hand I do feel kind of guilty. I feel like I'm doing something "wrong". But I just keep reminding myself that I'm not doing anything my W isn't doing and I'm doing it for me. It doesn't change anything for me. I absolutely love my W and wouldn't want to R if she was willing to do the work but I can't sit here and put off dating forever. And like I said it's just a date it doesn't mean I'm looking for a relationship I just want to go out and I will not lie there is a part of me that likes that someone else is willing to show me attention right now when my W is being so distant.