Detaching.....nearly there..

[Surfer]

Buxom,

The sad thing about all of this pain for you is none of it is in your control at all. It's not even in his just now. It's just a horrible past that a little boy or young man has been terribly scarred by and as an adult these things can become a problem. It's very sad, people are so evil to one another. Whilst I really do feel for you I feel for that poor boy too.

One thing I guess happens as a bullied and abused child you end up feeling worthless and confused as to 'why'. What did I do wrong, am I bad? That must be awful. I am not condoning any behaviour from anyone that is not appropriate but I do get that.

I think you must be a truly lovely person to still want to care for someone so hurt.

I will pop over to your thread. But don't worry about dropping me a message here. Always welcome. In truth I find it hard navigating and finding what I am looking for so if I miss a post or don't comment, put me a note on mine and I will let you know what I think.

One thing I see is you are a 'rescuer' it seems. If you google The Drama Triangle by Theramin Trees you might find some useful insight. I'm not an expert on all this I have just tried to learn to make sense of a tricky position, like we all are.

I think you are right with the self absorbed thing with my W. However, I am detaching and I am happy with my own company because I know I am a happy and lovely person. The gaslighting and spewing made me feel worthless. But it's really starting to almost disappear.

Thank you for you kind words Buxom. I appreciate you and what you have to say. Take care.