Wed was NC all day. Thur I experimented w/ a polite hello email which I had not made 1st contact in a long time; received complaining tension stress blah blah me monster stuff, as I expected. Day ended w/ small email exchange pertaining to banking & shared debts. I was small talk validating, but threw in a tiny emotional tickler stating I had appreciated something she had done - again, got the response I expected which was a "wow, that was really nice to read, you are so very welcome" followed by smiley face.

She went to S4's school last night for Kinder orientation and sent me a report about this morning. It was so long, involved and filled w/ so many decision points requiring my shared input I just called her out of easiness. Me calling her is not something I have done in months either. I decided I would speak w/ her using subtle flirting techniques and have no idea why the hell I chose to do that, I did choose to do it as before I called I thought about it. Anyway, it worked on her and she was bubbly and cheerful, responsive and flirty back. After I moved through all of the decisions she engaged conversation and I listened for about two minutes, politely cut it off at natural break in her speech, said I had to go.

When it was all over I did not feel good nor did I feel bad. Did not feel like I controlled each situation, but all three exchanges went as I figured. I am not in an apathy zone right now - just feeling detached, would say my behavior did not match detachment, but it was planned on my end. Checking myself is the only thing I can think of as to why after weeks of DIM validation and 180's into just the facts communication into complete apathy emotions on my end, followed by 1st full day of NC.No reason to speak w/ her tomorrow. Looking fwd to an NC. Was I unintentionally being an a-hole and messing w/ her head? Was I pulse checking her? Anyone else done something like this?

Seems to me I made a plan w/ no usable goal other than to see what would happen by doing what I did.

"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6