My wife thinks we're piecing (2)

[EDF]

Thanks for the helpful advice Sandi.

I talked with W; tried to keep it brief, but thanked her for the transparency (with devices, schedule, etc) so far and mentioned my concern about her being away. I pointed out I wanted to get to a place where I could trust her fully again, but that my trust in her was damaged from the months of lies and her chipping away at it... if she was serious about rebuilding, then a good way she could reassure me would be being super transparent when she was away - send me selfies of her having fun with her friends, or (if shopping) outfits she is trying on, etc.

She agreed. She made a comment about not really liking it, but understanding why I wanted that and that if that's what it took she would be willing to do it.

So that was a positive start, but during the same conversation I mentioned how she had previously said she would be willing to do MC and I think we should definitely look into that to help us rebuild, and help us work through some things. She claimed she didn't remember agreeing to that (BS), and she didn't like counselors (true), and she didn't think one was needed as she "already knows what she needs to do". She made the classic "I just want us to move on and forget this" comment.

I didn't push on that at this point. Upset that she reversed on that point, and think it will be needed if we to really rebuild, but if she's not ready for MC yet I don't see any value to forcing it.

A handful of other comments seemed genuine nice, some seemed passive-aggressive. Overall a mixed bag.

Since the talk she has seemed to be making a bit more of an effort, but there's still a subtly weird vibe. Part of me wants to just suppress it, but last time I ignored my intuition she was having the EA.

If I had to define what my intuition/gut is telling me, it's that she is still in sporadic online contact with OM in some fashion. I have no proof, and I'm not going to accuse her of anything based just on my intuition, but I definitely will continue to keep my eyes open.

Time will tell I guess, and in the interim I will just keep improving me, and monitor what kind of effort she's putting in.