Chapter 3. Let the detachment begin

[bigybiz]

Well it's day 4 in paradise. S15, S10 and I are in the Dominican Republic on vacation (3 days to go). For longtime followers this is a cherry on top of my GAL sundae.

I've not had any contact with W in over 2 weeks. Despite this she still runs through my head most of the day.

I'm acting as if I'm going on without her and for all intents and purposes we are. She has not seen S10 in about 3 weeks and S15 all summer (I've seen him twice aside from this week).

I guess the selfish, hard heart is OK with not being with her kids. I'm being very deliberate and not bringing W up in conversation. Funny, the boys don't bring her up either. We made a list of people to bring home souvenirs for - neither of them mentioned W. Not sure if they are being sensitive for my sake or if they just don't think about her? Sad all the way around I guess.

I know the only way to proceed is for her to believe (and me too) that we have gone on without her. I know that will be the secret sauce for healing all the way around.

Nonetheless, I still obsess a little - include having steamy fantasies about us.

I'm looking forward to taking on a few projects, that she used to be in charge of, when I get back i.e. back to school shopping, S15 B'day party, etc. It's important that the boys see that just because W has left, the regular things will continue.