Just working the process, but wondering when......

[roist]

I understand why you think that but I would be less quick to label stuff. Many people here read certain terms on this board and jump to the conclusion that that is it. Cake eating is one of those terms. That is just my opinion and is not a criticism of you or the board in general.

Your W has not categorically ruled out you as a H. Small consolation maybe but still most WAS here are categorical because they are sure. Limbo beats that in my book in regards to chances to turn it around. Living together, doing stuff together, having fun all add to your collective memories upon which your R is judged by W.

Let's say she really wants out. 100%. That must be an incredibly hard place to be and to continue living together. I am not saying have a pity party for her. After all WE see a very simple solution. But they don't. I often wondered if it is harder to stay with someone you don't love or stay with some who doesn't love you. Without losing myself too much, I just wanted you to reflect on this being at least equally tough on her.

I have another (maybe unorthodox ) view on cake eating.You are unhappy with your R. You are thinking of leaving because it isn't fulfilling. That is fair enough. But you have work to do on yourself regardless.that can be done without separation. So you cake eat while working on building a better you. Despite the shite there has to be advantages to still living together. You don't have to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, paperwork or son stuff. Ye still do fun stuff together, like the concert. None of this replaces a fulfilling R (nor should it) but should not be neglected either.

There are millions of people around the world seeking someone to share their lives with and what you are living beats their lonely existence. That being said there is nothing worse than feeling alone in a R. Ultimately it is unhealthy. I am not trying to convince you that what you have is better than the potential of being single. But you don't want to be single and this is a phase that has to be passed to rebuild a new R with W.

You have had a hard few years and eventually you may decide that is enough. That does not have to be today.Today focus on making the most of your interactions and more importantly use that time me wisely working on you.