Pay per-view? You got that right! It's over at the Madison Garden!
Gump,
I am baaack!
I went back to your first thread and found this quote from you:
Originally Posted By: ForGump
Thanks for explaining WW vs. WAS and sexual attraction. It helps me think through my own issues. FWIW, I think in my situation... my W is a mix of WW and MLC, with a splash of WAS. I guess I'm not sure what the main difference is between WW and MLC. Can't WW and MLC co-exist?
Next is from the most recent posting:
Originally Posted By: ForGump
Wonka: I'd like to understand the difference between an MLC and WW, i.e., wayward -- not walkaway/WAS. Thanks. I look forward to your post.
My W seems to fit the model, "she's having a MLC, which led her to become wayward." I'm wondering if she might be just WW without the MLC component.
Gump, I can tell you with a pretty much 100% certainty that your W does not have MLC. As a reformed former bad-ass MLCer, I have assisted some newbies in the Newcomers forum by sending them over to the MLC forum because I could see very clearly that their WAS was in MLC.
To be clear, your W isn't both WW and MLC. It just cannot be done. Yes, MLCers can be WAS, but not WW.
I trust that you have read up Sandi's threads on WW. In essence, WW's are filled with resentment, rebellion, and contempt as a result of several factors such as: 1-unfulfilled expectations, 2-unrealistic expectations of a M, 3-feeling the burden of carrying the M on their backs, and/or 4-experiencing a series of disappointments that slowly erodes their love for their husbands.
In a WW scenario, their loving feelings for the H declines over a period of time and their own general hopelessness about the M begins to slide slowly into serious disenchantment. This is when the nagging stops because they have completely given up on the M. THIS IS WHERE the danger line is and the LBHs trip up big time over this because they erroneously think that the M is in a better place because the nagging has stopped. Whooops! BIG MISTAKE! Why? This is when the WW begins to withdraw all of her affections from the H and enters into the dangerous waters of fantasizing about other men that is supposedly able to fulfill all of her needs.
Cue OM on the stage. Then the WWs switch their allegiances, emotions, and heart over to the OM. This is when they are sucked into the heroin phase. They know what they're doing is very wrong, but keep doing it because of the "hit" it provides them thus giving them an unnatural high. Then you couple that addiction with their inner rebellion and contempt for the LBH. A potent mix for sure!
MLC? That's another ball of wax all together!
A word to the wise here---scratch that god-awful cliche about the middle-aged bald guy driving way in a red Ferrari with a young 20-something! That is the Paramount Pictures manufactured version of MLC. eye roll
The signposts of a true MLCer are the following characteristics:
-Number #1: Experienced the death of a loved one (99.9% MLCers have faced a signficant loss such as a close relative, best friend, or someone they hold dear in their hearts) -Empty, dead shark-eyes look -Memory lapses -A deep-seated drive to "escape" from the pressures of M -Recreate their childhood/teenage years where they were emotionally stunted (I acted like a 12-year old during my own MLC and had OW) -Many will go through various "personality" changes through dress styles, hairstyles, experimentation with all sorts of things that are truly out of the ordinary -Racing thoughts into the night -Acute case of extreme tiredness -Inexplicable restlessness -Irrational thinking/irrational talks -Coping skills are shot -Empathy chip is severely cracked
Regardless of a WW, WAS, or MLCer, the underlying DBing principles applies to all three situations. The only difference is, in my view, that the WW needs a firm hand and a strong set of personal boundaries to head off their god-awful rebellious behaviors. Those WWs need to feel a real, genuine loss of the M *FIRST* before they are jolted out of their wayward mindset.
MLCers, on the other hand, couldn't care less about the loss of the M because they desperately WANT to escape the M and need a lot of time to work through their unresolved issues from their childhood/teenage years. Which is why many vets over in the MLC caution DBers that it could take years and years before they come out of MLC. Sadly, in some cases, they remain stuck and never come out of MLC.
In short, WW and MLC cannot co-exist. It is not scientifically or biologically possible at all.
I hope this helps in understanding the differences between a WW and a MLCer.
