Man, I wish I could answer that. I am not sure, but I do think one begets the other and I think the MLC is in the lead. I should have included: - narcissistic low self-esteem, impulsive to my list.
All this is somewhat of an academic exercise, but the way my brain is wired, it still gives me some peace to understand just what the hell is going on with my W.
I think my W is having an MLC of a very peri-menopausal variety. She hit a certain age, and is going into a kamikaze dive for male attention. She needs her brain to plunge into a vat of dopamine from a new infatuation, and OD on it.
Or, I'm simply a sexual mismatch for her, and she endured years of a bad marriage because she impulsively jumped into the marriage.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Man, I wish I could answer that. I am not sure, but I do think one begets the other and I think the MLC is in the lead.
Forgot to ask: you say MLC can beget WW, but not the other way around (which makes sense). So in some cases WW can occur w/o MLC. In that case, what drives the WW? If not MLC, what might a WW be motivated by?
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
True, yeah that could have been a check on myself. Can I handle the barrage that's bound to come? Every time I read about lovingly detaching it makes more sense. I guess you could call last night a shot across the bow. She shot back about as expected lol. Sometimes we just have to see where things stand (with ourselves, them and "us") w/o letting THEM know that's what we're doing. Think you did a good job about the contact. Unless they start getting crazy, I think we're always going to love the person inside. Time is our weapon, even if sometimes it feels really difficult.
Yeah. Trailer trash. Now that I'm just accepting rather than freaking out, like I was, I know why she was saying stuff like "I don't want other people involved in our lives" when I told a mutual friend good luck in your new job. She didn't want anyone, other than her trashy new friends, to know. My b@lls are bigger than this guy's face, it just screams busboy at Denny's lol. I'm thinking that, like yours, it was a way to have someone treat them like perfection, to control and feel accomplished next to.
The really hard part about that is realizing the way you contributed to it. I think I know many reasons, but if we were to ever go into MC together I think I'd learn about more I never even realized.
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
