Detaching.....nearly there..

[Cherry]

Your insight as a male is great. This is what leads me to confusion, I've never been one to nag- it's not really my character, he's a grown ass man, he should know right from wrong. His complaint about me was that I was TOO independent, I didn't ask him for anything. The 180 from that would be to ask him for things, or do things. But then in this situation, it would be seen as neediness or persuing.

Re sex, also never a problem. Last year, after it blew up with his ex ow, she actually started sending screenshots of messages between them. And one of them, my h actually said to her "I feel all me and W have is just really great sex". I was pretty speechless at the time that even while seeing another woman, he told her he felt he had great sex with his wife.

And dressing good, I've always maintained my appearance and kept fit etc. Again, the flipside of this is that my h has told me that people tell him he's punching above his weight, and how did he get me. I think the issue here is resentment.

All of this just leads me to wonder what exactly is it that has sent my h wayward. What is there that I'm not doing that has led him to leaving. The only thing he's ever said is that I don't listen to him. Which is why on the very few occasions he has spoken to me, I've just stfu and listened and validating.

It's tough knowing what my 180s could be. Or what it is that's sent him wayward