Detaching.....nearly there..

[Surfer]

Really interesting points made here. Sandi saying that W know how to get a man then they stop doing those things. True - so do men, provided they are not jerks.

Men are simple Sandi is right. He does want to see you happy. Why - because when you smile you light him up. To a decent man, the most beautiful curve on a woman is her smile. This is so so so true. First, look good, well and happy, then give a dazzling smile and pay attention to him when he talks and engage. That's what you did when you met.

The reason most marriages begin heading into trouble is communication failure IMHO. You stop smiling at each other, you stop dressing nice and you stop taking such an interest in each other's conversations. Something becomes more important, kids, friends, other people, the bar, the nightclub, work, sport. I think there must be a few simple things that can make and break relationships and smiles, looking good 'hot even', listening and engaging (or not) are perhaps IMO the bedrocks for change be that positive or negative.

The other little things that help, little touches (on the arm/back etc) doing nice things that elicit a thank you - all help the connection re-establish - for both sexes. Caring for your man and telling him how you appreciate how he works hard to protect you...that's all great too. Problem is - it's so hard to get that message across if there is disrespect from your H.

The killer for Men - as Sandi points out - without question. Number 1. I have zero doubt it's nagging/spewing/criticism/condemnation/complaining. Did you ladies do any of this Cherry/Buxom? It is something that men just deteste. Why? I think partly they go back to being a boy being nagged by their mothers. They don't want that. The want the whole maid in the parlour, nanny in the nursery, cook in the kitchen and whore in the bedroom thing (I don't actually mean a whore - it's just a saying, but they want someone that wants sex as often as they do and definitely not someone who rolls their eyes, in the wrong way, when they do).

There is definitely something in some women; some charm you into a relationship then try and make changes to you. Men don't want to change. They want to be them. Then when men are gone they complain they have gone and life is difficult. When their man has gone they are bitter. I don't get it. They choose this through their actions. I never needed my wife to change, I just needed her to stop nagging, criticising, etc dress nicely and be happy and let me know she cared for and respected me. She used to. Doesn't now, but hey, I'm not so sure I care really. I am happy. I can smile and laugh.

My W might not want me, but my next one is going to get a marriage machine after all this reading and understanding - still got so much to learn. Really quite enjoying the process now.

Apologies - kind of rated a bit there ha ha.