Keeps getting worse, 180 not working

[Buxom]

Ideas please... I blew it this morning and last night! WH Marci made plans for this concert tomorrow evening. Now his AA buds invited him out and again he was torn between them and me, just like the movies August 8 previously documented here. He spend the door hat I join them. I agreed and was calm and positive. He then looked anxious and I said so. He wondered if I'd be uncomfortable, I said "no, I've met most of them before." He said "maybe we should go and he would just go visit them in the audience", it's an outdoor lawnchair type event. I said no that abandons me, I'm fine joining in. By now I felt entrenched and still wanted to go with him. I know I've clubbed my head with many 2x4s already. I asked if OW would be part of the group, he said maybe. She's supposed to be ex OW but I think an EA continues, just my fears and intuition.
At my Alanon mtg this morning the ladies told me to back out, let it go and make other arrangements like go with another friend or do something else.
I had felt good about stating my needs and sticking to my funding the discussion last night but felt less certain this morning. To add insult to injury, I woke early and WH did too. I said good morning and asked if I could join him in his bed for a cuddle. I know, old behaviours and it was needy and clingy. Hurts just to type that.
I think I know the advice but let me have it anyway. I can take it.
I feel like my stomach is ripped open. I hate my pursuing and I hate feeling left out, left behind, and rejected. On the one hand I could show him how cool I am and fun on the other hand, he likely won't see it that way. I hate this!!