New here and separated

[ForGump]

R I G H T - O N , C O L Y 2 3 ! ! !

I think you let him know you are moving on! You deserve far better than the way he's been treating you.

[Altair]

Hi Coly
I've just added my story. Seems quite similar to yours in structure and in time frame. Hope we can support each other!

[Coly23]

Hi Altair, thanks for visiting my thread and I am sorry that you are here. I will pop over to yours and read up on your sitch.

As you can see it's only been around 3 months but it feels like a lifetime already! I've had quite a few 2x4's already because I don't seem to get it but I think it is slowly getting into my thick skull that H isn't going to want to come back if he isn't being given the opportunity to miss me and our family life. Although I realise I still have a long way to go...

Everyone is great here and will give you lots of support and advice. See you over on your sich shortly but just off to the local spa for some treatments before my hols.... :0)

[Coly23]

Thanks Gump! Not cried this morning which I have done since H left so I think I am getting there....

[Cherry]

Coly, it sounds like you are getting to a good place. Glad to hear you are doing things for you and not giving into the feeling that if we talk to them or do something for them we can change their mind.

It is counter intuitive and it is hard at the time. All our natural feelings want us to communicate with them, or do things for them. But this just enables cake eating. I feel like you at the moment, I just feel like avoiding him and avoiding any q's or any way that they can hurt us.

You sound like you are onto this and taking control, good for you!

[Coly23]

Thanks for stopping by Cherry. I'm going to use my holiday to really focus on detaching and like you say not letting his actions effect me or hoping my actions will have any effect on him. He has defo been cake eating and has enjoyed every slice but no more! The dessert trolley is closed for business!!

However, I wish I didn't see him yesterday, he threw me a bit as I didn't expect him to come to the door. He looked much calmer and like my old H and I had to use every once of my will to not throw my arms around him. D thought I was a bit off-ish with him but I just wasn't prepared to face him and at the end if the day I am allowed to be a little like this seeing as he has left me! I can do this....

[Cherry]

I love that mentality!! That's a great way to put it! Good for you!

It is hard, even at times when I see my h looking downcast. The other day when I left s with him. He looked at me with sad eyes. And I must admit he looked kind of pathetic, and it made me feel like I wanted to hug him and comfort him. But the fact was, that would be what I wanted. Not him. And if he looked down- that's merely because of the chaos that he has brought upon us.

I hope you and d have a great holiday. Just really focus on the two of you having a fantastic time- savour every minute and relax the best you can you've got this!

[Cadet]

Please start a new thread as this one will lock very soon as you are over 100 posts.


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