New here and separated

[Coly23]

Thank you Blu and Gump, you two are definately helping me keep on the straight and narrow and I can see how frustrating I must seem!

Everything you are saying to me makes total sense but it's just having difficulty getting into that thick skull of mine! Maybe it's the pain and grief that I am trying to avoid and instead i should just accept that it is part of my life at the moment. Accept that I am frightened and sad and start getting a bit angry too. I think that's what is missing, the anger. I get small glimpses of it and then it turns into sadness and self pitty...

Well H is picking D up from the house in a bit so I have exited stage left and I'm going to the gym for the first time in two months! This is a big step for me.... I shall make sure I am out when he does the drop off too. Not that I think he will want to come in but I don't want him to have the satisfaction of seeing my car there and chosing not to see me. At least I will have taken that choice away from him. I don't want to seem like I am playing games but actually I realise it is better for me to keep my distance. I've also told D that if he asks what I'm up to for her to say she isn't sure. I have her age on my side as everything I say to her goes in one ear and out the other anyway!

Thanks guys, your the best!!