New here and separated

[Coly23]

Hi Gump, yes your right I also get counselling as part of EAP at work. I think I will look into that when I get back.

You are right about the feeling hollowed out but for me it's not losing the emotion but losing myself. I see I'm not that person I used to be but long for now. All my friends and family keep telling me I need to find happy Coly again but it's so hard. H has left me but he has also taken with him the person I used to be and is holding her hostage. I don't know how to rescue her back.

Maybe it's the start of truly going dark that has taken me a few steps back in my journey. If all feels so wrong and those thoughts that everyone has of surely going dark is making it easier for HIM to detach keeps playing over and over in my mind. I just want to shout at scream at him but I know it's not going to help.

Yes at the moment survival is my only option and I know we will survive through this but I guess it's the thought of the journey that scares me.