I'm sorry you're having a tough day. We all go through that stuff and it's awful.
A couple months ago I was really feeling my anger toward the OM. I was home alone and I was throwing punches at the imaginary OM in my kitchen. I wasn't being as careful as I should've been and I accidentally punched a tile on the side of the countertop. I broke the tile as well as the pinky finger on my right hand. The OM broke my finger and he wasn't even there.
After that I decided I needed to get out of the house for a while so that the OM couldn't do any more damage.
I hope you can get out and about and start feeling better today.
