Thanks Bttrfly. The kids picked out a neat elephant decoration for w (she loves elephants) that I think she will really like. I was thinking card too but this is an area I feel I failed at since we got married. IDK, I'm confused, I feel like I should get her something but don't want to seem pursing.
W has been over the last 2 days. She was over at noon and the evening yesterday and again tonight. Yesterday, when she was at my house at lunch her eyes were kind of glossy, not high or shark-like though. IDT she was crying either because I know how she looks when she cries. She was acting weird and asked me "what?" when she came in. I complimented her dress (haven't seen her in her concert get up for awhile) and she thanked me and warmed up. She was still acting funny when she came in, after a couple minutes she told me she wanted to show me something. She showed me a selfie of her and a heavy metal rock star and told me her friend (MLC friend) took her to the concert and a meet and greet the night before for an early bday present. I think this MLC friend (the one she moved kids in with for awhile) may be just as toxic to our marriage as OM. She told me about how she met and talked for a little bit, how it was weird but cool (I'm leaving out details), about how she got more time than the other people, and about the freaky people who also had meet and greet tickets poking fun at them, and the concert. Shortly after she got a text, laughed and showed me a picture of her friend and her picture with him framed in a heart. She told me how cool it is she is going to concerts that her parents didn't let her go to as a teenager. No S!.. Your parents didn't let you go to heavy metal concerts on your own in Philly when you were 15, lol. Lots of thoughts going through my head but I kept quiet and listened; I can see what is going on now. She also mentioned something similar last week because there was a concert we could hear last week when we took the kids to the carnival. Really, I think it is a good sign she wanted to share but I can see she is in a similar place as almost a year ago. Now that I can see what is happening I wonder how long she will/can chase all this.
Last night we she brought the kids over she asked if she could stay a bit. I could see that switch flipping in her again. She would look miserable one minute and then fine the next while I played with the kids. I told her she could eat with us but she said no thanks. She hung out for a couple hours before she left.
When she came back over for a couple hours tonight she looked and acted better the whole time. All four of us jumped on the trampoline for quite awhile and talked to me with less tension then yesterday. She came in and hung out for a little while too. The kids asked about me visiting like her and she told me I was welcome to come over while she had the kids. Not as easy for me when I have no need to travel there but I will make it a point to go.
She did mention waking up really early this morning so I know she is anxious about the guardian attorney's recommendation too. Still waiting to hear back and school starts in 2 weeks...
I don't mean to be focusing so much on w but that is what is going on now as I'm having more contact with her. I think staying calm and consistent with her (I feel tested now and again) is very very slight progress at this time, but when I listed to her I know she is in replay/has baking to do.
