Maybs - Pt2

[maybs]

I didn't respond to the bills part of her text, she wasn't really asking me for anything and she didn't say she wanted me to help so I'm not going to help.

I went with "Oh no! I hope she starts feeling better soon" about our dog.

And W never said anything else.

Asking me about money in our joint account was super weird because she knows I haven't been using that account for 6 weeks and she's been taking money out of it without asking me for weeks.... why all the sudden would she be asking my "permission"???

Doesn't make sense. I really feel like her comments about the bills were looking for me to say something to ease her guilt. It was all about her wording... it felt weird.

Then this morning I got locked out of the d@mn house! and my only option was to go next door and try to call W while she was on her way to work to let me in! Luckily she did answer and was on her way here. But then the neighbor came out and got me in with a credit card since it was just the door knob....So then I called her back and told her I got in and didn't need her to come.

I'm glad I got in without her...I don't want to rely on her for anything because she's so unreliable right now. Learned my lesson though giving my friend a key later, since I don't feel comfortable trying to hide a key somewhere...

[maybs]

I think I'm going to wait on the bills thing.

Next week I will send her an email with a list because I also need to ask her about mediation... Maybe sending the information for her logins will make her more agreeable to mediation.

I'll just say that I've been busy and keep the email short.

[maybs]

Like cheesyt asked in her thread - do these topics: animals, bills, etc mean it wasn't a temp check?

Personally, I think it's situational. I think the reason, in MY situation, I think they are a temp check is because I've been trying to talk to her about these things for weeks!! Literally 7 weeks I have been trying to have a conversation with her about bills. And all the sudden she cares?? No, I don't think so. I think it was an excuse to drag out the conversation with me. And I truly feel that the only reason she even told me the dog was sick was as a reason to start a conversation with me.

I especially feel this way because of the conversation she had with my friend A last week...

In other circumstances, I probably wouldn't think it was a temp check...but it all just seems too convenient that it happened when it did...

[hawker]

I think it your situation it was a temp check since you have been trying to talk about bills for weeks....I wonder how sick your doggie really is...hmmm...I think it was a way in to talk to you, it does seem too convenient...

[maybs]

The weirdness keeps coming today. I haven been interested in hiring a mediator for our D pretty much since this started. I would much rather try to work it out with her as opposed to ending up fighting in court. Which is how it would go because her L is a B. Lol.

So I've been doing my research about mediation and found a few in the area that look like good options for us. I constructed a well thought out email that basically says "I would like for us to consider mediation as an option for our divorce. I would like to come out of this as financially stable as possible and lawyers get expensive. Here are some links with information about a couple of places in the area that offer mediation services. I would like this to be as painless for me as possible so I can move forward with my life. Let me know what you think"

I purposely sent it as an email because I wanted her to have time to look it over and I purposely sent it in the middle of the work day so if she tried to contact me about it I would be busy.

W texts me to say "I got your email but I haven't had time to look at it and I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you." Okay what? Because you actually have been ignoring me for 3 weeks up until last night and now all the sudden you're worried about my feelings?????

I'm just not responding. But I don't understand what is going on.... Why did she not want to talk for weeks and now all the sudden she's concerned I'll think she's ignoring me? And making up reasons to talk? Is this how this is supposed to work? Because I was finally getting comfortable not speaking to her for long periods of time.

[NYGal]

She sees the gravity of the situation and she intends to think about it and respond when she has time. Like you said, you sent it in the middle of the workday so she's busy too. Don't read anything more into it.

I'm sorry, maybs.It's all so fresh and new for you. Why did you file so quickly? Are you just done and ready to move on with your life?

[maybs]

NYGal I didn't file, she did. Very quickly. We had an argument in which I confronted her about OW and that day she moved out and met with a L to file for divorce.

She texted me that and then immediately after replied to the email I set. She basically said something like "I agree a mediator could be good if we both agree to work really hard to not hurt each other." Which I don't even know how to read that because I've apologized for the mistakes I know I've made in this M and since everything started she's been nothing but a monster to me. But okay.

I just responded with "like I said I want this to be painless. I want to be able to move forward with my life and go our separate ways"

Which she got really snippy with me after that so I shifted even further into indifference. Then she told me she wants to come get the dog crate since she will be staying overnight in town because she has a sleep study.

I know her and I know she wanted me to comment on the sleep study thing and I didn't. I just said I moved the crate to the basement and I won't be home later.

[maybs]

Also for the record, when I say I want to move on with my life and go our separate ways. I mean in the sense that if she is not going to be my W we cannot be friends.

She keeps saying that we are friends and I've been trying very hard to make it clear that we are not friends and we will not be friends.

[NYGal]

Right, don't be friends. It makes it so easy for them. And it holds you back. Sounds like the D was a whim, and do you think there's any chance she might change her mind? Was your M deteriorating for some time or was this sudden? Might be time for the last resort technique?
It sure would be nice to chat more about all this, with Hawk and Chees too.

[hawker]

Yes, I have no interest in being friends either and it does hold you back....it would be nice to chat with you ladies!