I just can't see her really suffering loss at the absence of her LBH if she has access to money, holidays, friends etc. From what I read from Sandi, without this loss she is unlikely to change. Unless I am missing something here.
You may be correct about her not experiencing loss of the things you listed. All you can control is your part that contributes to her cake eating. Otherwise, it's pretty much out of your hands. But let me quickly add, that there could be something valuable to her that you have not thought about her losing. Life has its way of issuing loss, know what I mean? For example, when I was a WW, I did not lose any of the things you listed, but I lost respect. (And, had I continued on the path I was headed, I would have lost those things you listed, too.)
My family had always held me in high regard for my values, standards, and strict spiritual beliefs. I had always treasured having a good name all my life. I had taught and counseled others, and was well respected in our community. Above all, my own children respecting me was something I wanted to maintain. Unfortunately, in my fogged out WW mind, I wasn't thinking realistically about how they would react to everything.
Loss of my family's high respect was my precious "loss". Maybe for some people, it would not be that big of a deal for them. My family's respect was very valuable. Yes, I was forgiven by my family.....but I will never hold the place of respect that I once had. And, I knew it was nobody's fault but my own. So, you just never really know what her precious loss might be, that will wake her up to what she's done.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
