Irish, I'm very sorry to read that you've injured your foot. I hope it heals quickly.
As for your wife, some of the MLCers begin to contact their former spouses once the divorce is final. Why? Because the pressure is off of them to come back into the relationship. Also, they want to be able to say that even though you are divorced, you can be friends and it makes them look good in the eyes of the world.
As for the girls calling their mother...I'm right there w/you. They are old enough to decide whether they want to contact her or not. She's the one that needs to find a way to mend the broken fences...not you or the girls.
Generally, MLCers do not come right out and apologize. They tend to skirt around the apology and talk about having regrets, etc.
You've stated how you feel about being friends. I can still remember when my xh suggested being friends and I said it wasn't happening after all of the damage he had left behind. His comment was "Everyone I know that is divorced are friends and do things together now that they are divorced". I pointed out that his friends had children and were tied up in joint financial ventures and had to get along. I pointed out that we had absolutely nothing left in the way of joint ventures or children to keep up connected. He finally realized that I was not going to be his friend, which in his mind, he thought being friendly would allow him to ask for things from my home after being gone 5 years and married to ow at least 2 years.
Being friends to a MLCer doesn't mean the same thing that we think of when we say we are friends. They don't understand what the true meaning of "being friends" means.
I do think you've handled the entire situation w/class. You've stated very plainly what you will or will not do and she's having a difficult time understanding that the choices she made have impacted everyone, not just herself. However, as time rolls on, she will begin to see more and more of the damage she's left behind.
You are doing a wonderful job in protecting your girls.
