10 Years Later - From a DB'er

[Maybell]

Then run into the friend that introduced me to one of my recent dates. You could have picked me up off the floor when she told me this friend is "interested." I'm like, huh? The girl who usually doesn't initiate texts, sometimes doesn't respond at all, then out of the blue contacts me to go out and gets weird and abruptly leaves at the end - that friend? She's INTERESTED? That's how she shows interest? Again, for the love of God please someone give me a normal woman! Also got the feeling this friend may have scared her off by being protective of me. To be fair, this date is like in last place anyhow but still, putting the fear of "don't you dare hurt my friend" into her may not have helped things.

Other previous date still has not contacted me. I've dropped the rope with her, now on day, let me think here, 8 or 9. Did see she went out for her birthday with S19 golfing and to dinner this past Saturday. I swear if it were not illegal and totally creepy she would date her son. That boy is her life - no two ways around it.

This read to me as very much lacking in compassion for others. I don't know what your experience with the second woman was, but I'll tell you from a woman's perspective, I'm not initiating a ton of communications. I want to be chased. WRT the first woman, If dating is awkward for her or you're sending signals that you're not that interested of course the dates are going to end awkwardly. I might tell a friend I'm interested but there's a big asterisk there and the bar goes up every day you don't pursue me. Not saying that's where her head is, but I don't read a ton of concern for her perspective in there and it makes me wonder what YOU'RE offering these women. Especially if you're ranking her "in last place." Gross.

Similarly, for the woman whose son is her life... Maybe he is. There was a long stretch of time when I only got up in the morning because my kids needed me. Who are you to judge if she wants to spend her birthday with a person she knows loves her?

Finally, this whole "lower your standards" line of thought is repulsive. People are people; no one is of a higher or lower standard than anyone else. If you meet a woman and instantly start judging if she's "good enough" for you you're never going to be able to see who she is. Frankly it makes you a terrible relationship risk because you're always going to be looking for the ways she DOESNT meet your criteria. If you can't meet a woman wondering what makes her tick and looking for what you can offer her, rather than how she can enhance you, you're never going to learn what you need to be fulfilled.

Rinse, wash, repeat? That sounds suspiciously like doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. You arent going to change your destination by changing the pace at which you travel the same road. Change the highway.