10 Years Later - From a DB'er

[DonH]

As I said above Vanilla, I'm starting to think I don't know what I want. I'm admitting that. I agree with you that "to be happy" is too general and was trying to elude to that as well by saying that's pretty much what anyone wants. I want someone that I can cannot with and do things with beyond a purely friend basis. That doesn't mean we have to be sleeping together but I don't hold hands, snuggle or romantically kiss as an example, any of my friends and miss that. At this point I'd even do that with someone I'm not totally into in hopes "lowering my standards" helps.

Performed at our state fair today. People everywhere. What I mostly see are couples, married people and couples, dating, on a date, whatever but couples. Again, getting sick of it.

Then run into the friend that introduced me to one of my recent dates. You could have picked me up off the floor when she told me this friend is "interested." I'm like, huh? The girl who usually doesn't initiate texts, sometimes doesn't respond at all, then out of the blue contacts me to go out and gets weird and abruptly leaves at the end - that friend? She's INTERESTED? That's how she shows interest? Again, for the love of God please someone give me a normal woman! Also got the feeling this friend may have scared her off by being protective of me. To be fair, this date is like in last place anyhow but still, putting the fear of "don't you dare hurt my friend" into her may not have helped things.

Other previous date still has not contacted me. I've dropped the rope with her, now on day, let me think here, 8 or 9. Did see she went out for her birthday with S19 golfing and to dinner this past Saturday. I swear if it were not illegal and totally creepy she would date her son. That boy is her life - no two ways around it.

On a positive note, I do feel more myself the past two days. Clearly back to acting as if and just sort of taking some steps back. Thing is, that's where I was three years ago getting the same results after I crossed over to where I am now - and after all sorts of people insisted I "try online dating," "put yourself out there," "Lower your standards a little bit." So I did and now I'm backing off of that. Rinse, wash, repeat!