I want to pose some questions that were essentially posed to me by the awesome KML over in the MLC thread--- these are not verbatim at all, but these types of questions got me thinking really hard.... It's not necessarily DBing, but it's real and when folks like you and I who are in fairly young marriages without children... It may be ok to take a different approach to DBing. As you know, it's about saving yourself first.
Do you really want your ww back? What makes her the best marriage partner for you? What is her stance on children/family? Do you think she's going to be a great mom to your future children?
Believe me, nothing was going to prevent me from standing for my marriage- nothing. Come hell or high water, I was going to stand forever because I made a promise in front of God, my friends and family..... For better for worse, till death parts us. I meant those words with every ounce of my being. But enough time has passed and I'm a different person than I was a year ago... I'm not so sure I want to be in a r with my h anymore. In fact, I'm 98% sure I don't. We had issues/ he had issues..... Yes, I think I am capable at working through those issues now.... But the sad thing is, I'm not sure he's worth it anymore. I'm not. He would not be a good father.... Even if he worked through his childhood issues.... His commitment track record tells me otherwise ( with business, friends, me). Would I risk it knowing this was a possibility? A very real possibility?
If you let go.... It's ok. It has to be the right decision for you. Yes... That's anti DB, but I think you've done what you can. Just look at the situation realistically. She has a track record of this behavior....
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
