Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 18
N
NVBH Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
N
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 18
Totally agree with everything you said, it was more a case of me venting than anything else with regard to the puppies having any accidents while training and her immediate negative reaction.

Love the little guys and know, in the long term, they will be happier and healthier with me than with someone who has completely changed their perspective (MLC) in less than 12 months.

We have a younger son who is an explosive child and the puppies provide a stabilizing source of unceasing love when he is struggling (or old dog used to do the same before we knew what an explosive child was). Often times, they are the only thing he can anchor to during the bad times.

Choices is a great way to look at it. They have to be my choices, not our choices, and that is a difficult thing to accept after 17 years of marriage.

DBing is WAY more difficult than I ever thought. The constant changing (mostly negative) is almost impossible to believe. Ever decreasing interactions are also very surprising when, at the very least, you would expect her to want to co-parent. I know now that it is "to be expected" but wow, so different.


W:51 M:50
T:19 yrs M: 17 yrs
S15 S11
BD: April 2016 ("too much tension")
Moved out: early June 2016
Filed for D: early June 2016
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 604
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 604
Originally Posted By: NVBH


DBing is WAY more difficult than I ever thought. The constant changing (mostly negative) is almost impossible to believe. Ever decreasing interactions are also very surprising when, at the very least, you would expect her to want to co-parent. I know now that it is "to be expected" but wow, so different.


Marital problems are scientifically found to be one of the greatest stresses we will ever face. You got that right my friend. PS> A big reason I chose to better w/ my dog was my S. Good move man. It was your choice and sounds like you chose correctly.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 18
N
NVBH Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
N
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 18
Morning, just DBing along today.

Have a request for some advice.

Has anyone ever experienced a situation where you establish a visitation schedule for the children and the WW just ignores it completely? In this case, I am talking about not seeing the kids at all and missing many weeks where she was supposed to be hosting them at her place.

Is this part of the "script"?
How did you handle it (or ignore it)?


W:51 M:50
T:19 yrs M: 17 yrs
S15 S11
BD: April 2016 ("too much tension")
Moved out: early June 2016
Filed for D: early June 2016
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
Document it - very carefully especially if you can document the agreement. Getting into a p@ssing match with WW just gets everyone wet and stinky.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 604
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 604
Originally Posted By: NVBH
Morning, just DBing along today.

Have a request for some advice.

Has anyone ever experienced a situation where you establish a visitation schedule for the children and the WW just ignores it completely? In this case, I am talking about not seeing the kids at all and missing many weeks where she was supposed to be hosting them at her place.

Is this part of the "script"?
How did you handle it (or ignore it)?


NVBH - Kind of. When WW was still in my home, before I knew of the A, she blatantly ignored our S4 and left me all alone with him for many days at a time which was part of what clued me into the A (You do not have an A listed in your sig? not happening?). So as for your advice - Andrew P nailed it:

Originally Posted By: AndrewP
Document it - very carefully especially if you can document the agreement. Getting into a p@ssing match with WW just gets everyone wet and stinky.


Also, so I don't re-invent the wheel here. Read my thread "fight for self" There is a ton of general information I have posted there, including things about the WAW ignoring the kids. Also, you never answered if you read all of Cadet's HW assignments - did you? Because if you did, you would have encountered the tome that Sandi has been kind enough to script for everyone here, and that stuff certainly includes answers to your questions as well. Her stuff is from personal experience, my stuff is from research into the subject matter itself. Either way or with both, you will gain some insight - but you gotta read this site dude, you gotta read this site. You have entered into a place that the DB/DR books do not open doors to on their own.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
Hello NVBH,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

Is the visitation schedule an official document agreed upon officially by both parties? If WW is completely ignoring it, document those violations.

The question is "How do you handle/ignore it?"

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Page 5 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5