Keeps getting worse, 180 not working

[Buxom]

Soto, thanks for the thots. It was an emotional song by Jason mars, I won't give up. Cringing now. It talks about giving space etc. He has been more present when he is home and daily now asking to be held, starting convo and doing little things for me again. I could have blasted him for going to the movies last night instead of being home with me. I told him to go and you could hear the relief in his voice on the phone and he said it's not that I don't want to be with you... I said well you r off the hook, enjoy, see u later. I could have got upset and cried or been mad or cold shoulder when he got back but I didn't. I'm proud of me for that as I took care of my own emotions and did not put pressure him. I did a lot of journaling after that and was quite settled when he got home earlier than I thot. I so realize my neediness and hear it when he said sometimes he gets very anxious around me. I also realize that this behaviour could be cake eating. I am following the DB coaching tho along with many 180 aspects.The benefits of staying calm, not questioning him, not sharing my feelings and blaming, so far, has been more and deeper communication, physical closeness, and him saying he wants to share more of his take on his world as it's become. No details on that at present and we haven't yet spoken in detail about his counseling session. It seemed to be a good turning point. Thanks again Soto. Keep the insights coming, I'm in full life review mode and want to examine all aspects of who and what I've become.