Keep Wearing Wedding Band?

[ForGump]

Thanks again all for your kind thoughts & attention. There are lots of well-meaning friends and family around who are aware of what's going on but I have to say most are all goddamn useless. Self-serving echo chambers and fire-setters. Or well-meaning limp noodles. This online forum has its own frustrations, but between it and my IC ... well, I could do worse for support. I would like to have also tried the DB phone consult but at this point it seems imprudent financially -- especially since the shite is about to hit the fan in terms of finances.

Which leads me to the second thing I want to vent here: talk about WW/MLC being adolescent. My W has the lifeskills of an 18 year old, and is unable to grasp what a D would mean economically for our family, until she's knee deep in it. Then her reaction is likely to be anger towards me, and self-pity and hatred, which she has plenty of ... but strangely mixed with certain shards of narcissism. As we negotiate the practical terms of our D, I expect all kinds of hell to break loose.

And for some WW/MLC (it seems from reading here), the practical realities of a D is a wake up call for them, and that triggers a reconsideration of the D. But I have zero expectation that my W would do that. And it seems consistent to me. Because WW/MLC is not about someone being rational -- a WW/MLC has become unhinged, and is madly pursuing her emotional cravings, while running away from the suffocation of a rational, stable, negotiated partnership with a H. Right? So why would the economic consequences of a D wake up a WW/MLC? No, I expect it to just make my W more contemptuous of me.

All of these realizations/expectations about my W ... they don't help me feel any better for my kids. They are deeply family-oriented kids, and it will shatter their world to be told that we are splitting up.