I don't exactly what to tell you, so I'll tell you what worked for me.
My wife became a bad @ss bully during the slow slog toward separation and divorce. Of course, I was hoping that neither would happen and she used that for all it was worth (i.e. lots of cake eating). I didn't know how to set boundaries primarily because I didn't know how to create actionable consequences. Then I realized that my wife is the perfect example to follow. How did she handle consequences? She makes certain that if she doesn't like something she release a holy-h3ll of terror until things go in her favor.
So what did I do? I adopted her approach and juiced it full of steroids. Let's call it tough love. If she starts into her sh*t, then I hand it back tenfold and there's no question who's going to limp away. I have near zero tolerance for any WW bullsh*t. If I even feel like she's trying to give me a little push, I'm very quick to stifle the transgression. She's generally a timid puppy these days.
Is that DB? I don't know. Will that lead to reconciliation? I don't know. But, one thing I know with absolute certainty is that she'll never walk all over me ever again. I'm good with that.
