I think that I have to say of myself that I am not ready to move on and see another person. Neither for me nor for a potential partner. I am working on me, that is where I need to be. The idea of a dating scene at 41 kind of sickens me anyway. I don't blow up bars anymore and I think the tinder/match whatever stuff looks like something I would not want to spend my time with. I have to become solid as an individual and I am. This means facing myself alone with confidence and security.
I said above that me going out for a hike w/ a woman this weekend was "date-ish". It was not romantic, the woman knows my sitch,and knows I am only interested in me and my S4 right now. Date-ish because she asked me and I was alone with a woman doing an activity. I would have been on GAL outdoors anyway at that time so I agreed. So, it was really just two adults hiking for two hours. I did not schedule a follow up or say anything special afterwards like I would have were I interested. But I said yes to hiking simply b/c I wanted to feel the presence of a woman in conversation and I got some good exercise in the process. I think others here may disagree w/ me doing this, but I know how I feel inside and know I went into this moment with a clean mind and made no effort to have it become more than what it was.
So, I am not sure this answers your question, but here goes: I believe that if my WW and I do not get back together, I will have more confidence and self-respect knowing that my decision not to be with her was one I made under the influence of myself, my own achievements, and my own choices for me; as opposed to being made while under the influence of a new romance or interest. I have read here a few times, and heard it myself from WW, "you should move on" or "You should date others". I have always responded with something like "what I choose to do or to not do is my choice." Imagine your WW coming to realize that the excuse does not exist in their mind of you finding someone else, but that you found yourself and made your choices from that viewpoint.
And then there is this - I think we will all know when we know. Another switch will have flipped.
And a PS for Natus - dude, your 50/50/50 thing is a great idea when you fell like txting her. I work out 6 days a week w/ a lot of core & push ups. But you do 50 burpees you are a badass dude. I used to try them, but holy st they hurt the body. I didn't feel so bad when I saw you were 10 years younger than me, but you keep those up dude. What a great plan when you feel tempted to contact.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
