This sounds alot like my W. I thought no way there could be OM as she always home and in bed by 8.30pm. She makes me breakfast for work, she has a strong value system. Boy I was wrong. Dont meant to scare you but just warning that you might be in LBS fog.
Yeah, I can't be 100% sure. However, from doing some snooping (which I don't like doing) very minimal activity in any of her mobile activities text or calling, and no odd behavior when she's at least home. However, she leaves for a few days as our Hybrid-S
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Shes waiting for you to give up. She doesnt want to do any of the work or hard stuff cause that will make her the bad guy.
I'm committed to not give-up, going to GAL and 180. Time is my friend as the old expression, she would be crazy to give up the man I determined to become. I still have home court adv in that she's still home, and everyday (I or she's here) can see consistency in my changes and improvements. I still know I can't control what she wants but gotta use the DR tools.
Tonight, she left for a dinner with "girlfriends" and then will go to her friends house for the night and come back tomorrow evening. I just told her have fun and be safe. My typical reaction would of been who's going to be at dinner and what time will you be here. She initiated a hug and I accepted. In most past interactions, its her that initiates the hug. There's at least some tiny improvements 2 months ago, she wouldn't allow me to have physical contact with her.
This coming Monday i will be going to go to my first Meet-up support group for divorce/separation it will in the evening for a couple of hrs. If my W asks where I'm going (which I expect she will), what is the response I should give her in our current state of S but cordialness within the same house?
If she doesn't ask, I don't plan to volunteer any information.
Fr my GAL I plan to go to 2 Meet-up support groups every week. It will good to meet new people and ones that will understand my situation.
If my W asks where I'm going (which I expect she will), what is the response I should give her in our current state of S but cordialness within the same house?
"Going out, don't wait up". "Not really sure where all I may decide to go.....or do. See ya". "Haven't you heard? We are separated. That means you don't get answers to personal questions". . (Use the last one at your own risk of bodily injury).
How about just shaking your head (showing amusement), and say, "Bye".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 - Awesome, thanks. On the flip side, W wants to tell me where she's going. i would rather she didn't because I don't believe what she's saying to me. Don't understand her need to give me any update while we're S and then just lie about it.
This coming Monday i will be going to go to my first Meet-up support group for divorce/separation it will in the evening for a couple of hrs. If my W asks where I'm going (which I expect she will), what is the response I should give her in our current state of S but cordialness within the same house?
If she doesn't ask, I don't plan to volunteer any information.
Fr my GAL I plan to go to 2 Meet-up support groups every week. It will good to meet new people and ones that will understand my situation.
Are these your only GAL plans? I encourage you to find some activities that do not revolve around your relationship status.
I'm not saying e meet ups are bad, but they aren't sufficient GAL by themselves.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
sandi2 - Awesome, thanks. On the flip side, W wants to tell me where she's going. i would rather she didn't because I don't believe what she's saying to me. Don't understand her need to give me any update while we're S and then just lie about it.
Weird - mine did that too. At the time I took it as an attempt to be open and honest with me and believed it to be a crumb of hope that she was respecting me again. No clue as to the reality of it.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Are these your only GAL plans? I encourage you to find some activities that do not revolve around your relationship status.
No, not entirely. I'm also very busy with my new kids in my spare time as I try to do as much with I can when we have free time and together. My GALing has just started in earnest a few weeks, and these meet-ups appeared to be the easiest to attend. I also plan to go back to church (I grew in the church environment), and I plan to meet new and hopefully interesting friends.
Weird - mine did that too. At the time I took it as an attempt to be open and honest with me and believed it to be a crumb of hope that she was respecting me again. No clue as to the reality of it.
It's just my W made this detail explanation as to where she was attending and what she was doing, and based on data from other folks, I fairly certain that was not her plan. I didn't ask for a explanation when she left and she didn't have to give it to me (no pursing). But, I just find it odd why she would make this up. The only thing that comes to mind, is that in some subconscious way it minimizes her guilt to whatever she's doing.
Frankly, I rather she never tells me anything as I don't plan too. There's also a part of me that would like to know if things are headed to a WW instead of a WAW (I'm assuming her current status) then in a way I can shift to harder detachment.
It's just my W made this detail explanation as to where she was attending and what she was doing, and based on data from other folks, I fairly certain that was not her plan. I didn't ask for a explanation when she left and she didn't have to give it to me (no pursing). But, I just find it odd why she would make this up. The only thing that comes to mind, is that in some subconscious way it minimizes her guilt to whatever she's doing.
Still think there is no OM?
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
. (Use the last one at your own risk of bodily injury).