Cld, There are many who come from broken homes and have gone on to become successful people. Just become someone comes from a broken home doesn't necessarily mean that they are likely to use drugs, drop out of school, commit suicide, become criminals or have broken families themselves. There are some that do this...but I've seen many who come from broken homes, face the issues that they experienced as children and go on w/their lives, marry and stay married and have good children and productive lives.
You could have married a woman who came from a stable home and she could have had a crisis any way. Why? Because somewhere along the line someone in authority may have stunted her emotionally. Their childhood issues don't always revolve around their parents.
I believe your wife does feel the pain and right now, she is choosing to behave poorly and until she actually faces those demons, she'll continue to do so. She is of the mindset that she survived what happened to her in childhood and she thinks her own children will survive as well. Of course, this is not always the case...but if you are there for your children, listen to them, validate them, reassure them that you will always be there for them, and don't make promises that you may not be able to keep, they will grow up and remember that you were there for them.
Try to keep an open mind...not all crisis people come from broken homes. Some crisis people actually come from families who have parents that have been married for many years.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
