Can't stop thinking about W telling me she's better without me. Tears me up inside... I'm having a busy weekend. I Thought that would suffice to not be so down. It's not. I feel so helpless and like this situation is never going to get better or end.
Thanks hawker, words still hurt. Makes me wonder how I'm going to get over all this treatment / words if things take a turn you know?
I'm good, I forced myself to go out with my friend went to a wedding, danced my rear off and had a lot of fun last night. Like a lot. Carefree fun.
Today just at my softball tournament, we came in 4th out of 6 teams hahah so we did ok. Just hanging out drinking beer with a bunch of lesbians. (it's a gay and lesbian league)
No temp check from the W, guess I got used to them, weird how she's keeping her distance. Last time that happened I was over seas so didn't notice. Day 4.
I know words hurt.....that is good that you got out and had some fun... Oh I loved playing in softball tournaments, too bad I"m too old for that now...hahaha...hamstring issues...
Ya, I went to day 5 until my temp check...LOL...Hang in there...
I updated my stich so if you wanna take a look...
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
Can't stop thinking about W telling me she's better without me. Tears me up inside... I'm having a busy weekend. I Thought that would suffice to not be so down. It's not. I feel so helpless and like this situation is never going to get better or end.
CheesyT - sorry to say it but she probably believes it to be true right now. One of the things that hurt me so much was my W being so very smug and superior and so very confident in her path and her friends. Then when she leaned on those friends for real support, they bailed on her. The image I had of my WW the day she walked out of our door was of a shaken and scared woman who didn't know where the future was taking her.
Attitudes change - this is a journey, not a destination. You're just on one of those parts with a lot of bumps.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
thanks andrew, you're right, attitudes change, W did tell me that when she was mad. (W has always been the type to spit ugly words when mad, then tends to take them back when she's not mad) just because she's so perfect without me now doesn't mean she will be like that forever. Also, I keep thinking if she fell in love with me once, then it can happen again.
update on the weekend. (Since I've had time to process it) Had a rough Saturday. the dream and all these thoughts threw me off. While at the wedding I got to see a lot of families, lots of couples and happiness. Also, the softball game, yeah most of the woman there are married, but there's so many that are single and loving and living life. With both of those outings I was reminded and began thinking that will be me one day. I will find happiness on my own, and then eventually someone (could be my W, or not) & I'll be truly happy again. It's going to take a while, but I will be okay.
W texted bright and early "hope you are well." haven't responded but was thinking "thanks" I don't feel like i need to ask her how's she's doing. Also, don't want to ignore and make her mad, so I think a "thanks" is good enough. Not sure, going to sit on it for a few more hours.
Wait. Let her wonder. Don't text back yet. She's temp checking and wants not to feel guilty.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Hang in there its a marathon not a race....I know how you feel!!