- Let your partner know subtly that they are beautiful, desirable, incredible.
The one about letting the partner know subtly ... that's a really tough one. Not sure how to do it. Don't want to be perceiving as pursuing.
First off, very glad individuals here have found the information I share helpful.
ForGump - I agree that one is a challenge and as I said in my last post I am not sure how realistic all of these are. How does one remain dim, but also pull off support and making the other feel heard? How do you pull away with pursuance, but not so far that you are gone? I guess this depends on the individual sitch, how far out you both are, and what your objectives are. I believe the validation practices, e.g. Wonka's stuff, are the best approach for achieving while still 180.
An example of something I have done with that statement you quoted is to embed a comment about a small detail of her in the middle of validation.
Me responding to WW one day as she complained about her job/boss:
"Sorry you are feeling all of this stress at work. It sounds like a very challenging situation. Your skin looks good by the way so at least the stress has not affected your body. I hope you are able to figure this out and work through it."
I placed that in a very short conversation while dropping off S4. I listened to WW for the time I was there and that was all I said other than my nodding while she spoke, good-bye [I have to get going now, enjoy S4 tonight], and things I told my son before going. WW responded to the statement with body language - a smile and she touched her hair at the same time with a slow hand stroke after I said it. Both of those are common body language responses females give when they like the way/what a man has said to them. Also, I was not flirting, I did not smile when I said it, and I did as if it were an observation and nothing more. It was not me pursuing, it was me adding some mystery. My example sent two opposite messages to WW - "I don't need you" and "You are a person of qualities" These two things would not occur simultaneously in a normal R, but none of us are in a normal R. It is confusing, but helps with being the person your WW cannot have.
Not sure if that helps. Its what I did a few weeks ago and I would not be sure I would do that today and I if I do, it would be very few and far between. WW needs to continue w/ her journey and I w/ mine at this point. She seems to have shown small steps towards pursuing me and/or trying to pulse check. So I keep w/ everyone's advice here and will stick to my guns until change of a significant level is noticed.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
