Albac broken but pushing forward

[ForGump]

"Considering we are separated and your decision to date, I feel I need to move forward with my life. I think it would be best if we not contact each other except in cases regarding our daughter. I won't be spending time with you....or invite you to hang out at the house. I won't engage in doing things as a family, b/c I do not want to confuse our daughter".

Thank you for giving us a sample message. Really helpful to have something tangible to use as a starting point.

I like the "to date" phrase, because it reminds her very gently that the future can be different.

But the sentence about doing things as a family and confusing our daughter... I'm a little concerned about that one. I think we LBS/doormat/cake bakers need to be more forthright about why we don't want to be their backup-plan and/or emotional cake. How about something like,

"Dear WW: I understand you want us to remain good friends, but based on your decision to date, I find the type of friendship you want impossible for me. You told me you do not love me and you have moved out, but you continually contact me several times a day about things that are not related to parenting. I cannot maintain such an intense and intimate friendship with someone other than a loving wife. I need to move forward with my life. I remain committed to being a good co-parent with you to our daughter, so please contact me regarding any parenting issue, and I will make every effort to respond in a timely, appropriate manner. But I will no longer be able to respond to your calls and messages about your own life. I wish you the best."