cbtdad - Thank you very much for sharing me your story. In my specific sitch, there is as I believe no current OM; however, based on my observations I think my W is interested to possibly test the waters. What may hinder her from doing this is her value system: she's married, living in the M house, has kids, and a pretty conservative W, plus very busy w/her new job.
What you said about your W was that she was open to R at full detachment. I am truly working towards GAL and 180; however, detaching is a lot tougher, especially as I see her most days. My other fear is if she's truly detached herself, and truly does not want this M, she will see my "healthy" behavior as a good sign for her to minimize her own guilt of leaving the M. I do see (at times) conflict in her and through some of her actions. If she really wanted this to end, she would of already filed, or just physically S, or just plan as little communication as possible in house. Currently, none of this has happened. In fact last week, she bought me a shirt from her girl's weekend...she did tell me if was a cheap shirt and wanted to give me a gift, like a nice roommate would do. The flip side is that, wherever possible she has puts up walls - restricted me from her FB feed, told me not to call her honey, will not change in front of me, talks to me a very formalize basis.... Knowing my wife, this is how she tries to move on, by doing and taking actual steps to demonstrate her resolve.
I know with every fiber the best thing for me is to detach and GAL for me, because good or bad it will be healthier/better for me what ever happens in the end.
I learned a lot from your postings and I hope the best for you and your advice. I hope if the good lord is willing to give me a chance to have a rebirth w/my W.
