Well, I don't see these as personal boundaries. What you wish to discuss with her is kind of like "ground rules", IMHO. What could you do if she doesn't agree to cooperate? (Be sure you read the link on boundaries).
I think you need to plan how to approach her, if you decide to carry through with it. I'm not the best at stating things, but I would probably word it something like, "Considering we are separated and your decision to date, I feel I need to move forward with my life. I think it would be best if we not contact each other except in cases regarding our daughter. I won't be spending time with you....or invite you to hang out at the house. I won't engage in doing things as a family, b/c I do not want to confuse our daughter".
She may ask if you don't want to be friends any longer. She may accuse you of punishing her b/c she's dating. She may get angry. You need to consider the possibilities, b/c a WW can catch her H completely off guard by things she says or does.
If you tell her anything along these lines, you need to be certain you can stick to it. Also, understand that she is going to really test you on these issues. WW's use all kind of little tricks.
You will basically be telling her what you will be doing, instead of it sounding as if you are giving her orders. But at least, she would know why you weren't responding to her messages.
Do the two of you share a calendar that has the dates of parent days and times to leave?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
