Lost at the moment (2)

[lfm]

Agree with everything you've said Sandi. I am not optimistic about the future between WW and I, and to make matters worse, my W just accepted a full time job where they work, changing from part time. Now instead of working with him one day a week, she'll be there with him 5 days a week, so I'm expecting at some point to see her behavior change again/revert back or to get a second bomb drop.

At this point I'm playing it cool as I need to get my affairs in order before really feeling I'm ready to file for D. I've realized that while I want to keep my family together and utlimately reconcile with my WW, that it simply nothing more than a want. It's not a need, I know from the past several months that I'll be just fine without her if it comes to that, and that maybe somewhere down the road, I can find someone who truly, 100% wants to commit and be with me.

That's most likely a ways down the road though and right now I am just doing my best to continue working on me. I've talked to my W about resolution meaning no contact with OM and that she ultimately needs to delete and block his number. I don't think she is ever going to be ready for that. I've also told her that despite their "agreement", he is always going to be waiting in the wings for her to call him because things aren't good and will try to sweep in and save the day.

Up until this supposed "agreement" he's had the perfect relationship, he gets intimacy and companionship without any of the responsbility of a real relationship.

Anyway... I digress. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out over the next few weeks...