I've gotten reports that he beams when he talks about what I'm doing for work right now.
The last few days he has made me cappucino in the morning with a heart shape on the top. He had stopped the hearts for awhile then stopped the morning coffees then resumed the coffee and now added the hearts back onto them...
He shared with me about his medical issues - one thing that will help his high blood pressure is drinking more water so I made a large jar with times on it and have been bringing him water and he's been expressing appreciations about that.
He said he wants to extend working on our relationship for six months though he's not hopeful. He says he's willing to go on dates and willing to do counseling if I find someone. I'm going to look into who we can see. A DB coach? There's also marriage fitness workshops through a guy named Mort Fertel who has received some acclaim.
He puts the job of finding a counselor on me, he DOES want me to jump through hoops for him.
We plan our weekends and they always include family activities for the entire weekend and family dinners every weekday night - actually all 7 days.
The house we are closing could have a small apartment into it. Rentals are very difficult and whether together or separate we need to find a way to keep costs down.
My Physical safety doesn't seem threatened. It's my sanity for sure. I will have to make my own decisions.
Is my situation alarmingly worse the the other divorces that have been "busted" through this message? I think Vanilla said that it doesn't work out after the bomb drop - but I thought the DB plan is about busting divorces. I'm interested in folks perspectives.
It came out that the lunch was with a male co-worker. He was complaining that he insisted on having lunch and then told him an idea that was originating from my co-worker. I think he won't put anything secret on there. When he was in nyc he didn't put his plans on there.... I still saw the bank expenditures and heard from relatives when they met.
I don't think he's having an affair. I don't know if he's ever cheated. It doesn't seem to matter though - what matters is how he treats me going forward.
I need to do some writing - and come up with my minimum standards for treatment and a life together and if he agrees to them great and if not then that's it. It will be things like:
100% faithfullness Treat me the way he wants to be treated no shaming, blaming complaining Ask for what he wants in a clear positive way Trade off planning mystery dates...
He's still not doing that and yet I heard him tell the girls to do that this morning. They were complaining about what they DIDN'T want for dinner. So he understands the concept!
And I need to make plans for my single life so I'm not having to do it all at once when or if the time comes. I've done a bunch of that already.
