OFP, your instincts are keen. please allow yourself to keep a handle on them with your new girlfriend.
yes, she could have something going on in her past. you just have not had enough time with her to know. there are many many men and women that ive interacted with, who after a long Codependent or abusive relationship, end up in another one shortly thereafter.
I have no idea if this woman you are falling for is damaged, neither do you. you just don't have the time in with her to know. and quite frankly I do not believe you have changed your core to a point where you will prevent another possible Codependent relationship from developing if there were deep issues with her.
it is one thing to read a book and say that we get it. it is quite another to start the healing that is imperative to be able to make those lasting changes for ourselves. creating those healthy boundaries to be able I maintain healthy relationships without losing our sense of self.
It is very important to continue to recognize this fact. if I were in a new, fresh relationship I don't believe I could recognized that subtleNess of manipulation yet. that is my honest take. her being able to meet my needs so perfectly, after starving for love and affection, desire and passion for so long.
seriously difficult to even comprehend putting boundaries in place, in an environment where this sharing and closeness feels so very right.
I am not talking about being vulnerable here, i am talking about being honest with yourself and taking all the time in the world to make sure you are safe and ready to give yourself to a healthy relationship. making sure you have healed and are truely loving yourself and not using this relationship to heal as opposed to doing the deep work on yourself to become whole. or her doing the same, using this relationship to soften her woulds.
if this woman does love you she will wait. she will want to understand and help you. she could even take your lead and start looking at herself and her wounds.
as always, I really want you to be happy. I really want you to be able to look in the mirror and smile everyday knowing you are the best you can be. i am only conveying caution here, you are worth that much and so much more.
I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, it is another scorcher here...time for more fun.
sorry so short, I am out of town and between engagements. have to get going.
