New here and separated

[Coly23]

Thank you SH, I have read and re-read Cadets's homework and Sandi's rules and read the DR book twice and you are right I am still sooo confused!

I am trying not to pursue as I have stopped texting him to ask how his day is etc. and yes I agree i do a lot of mind reading and filling in the gaps! I declined his invitation to go to lunch with my D this Sunday because again I was filling in the gaps and wondered if he only invited me because he felt obliged to. When I first suggested for him to come over one evening a week to spend with D I am ashamed to admit I did it for myself as well as for D as she said that seeing him at the weekend was eating into her social life. D loves this arrangement and I think H does to as he comes over with a bottle of wine every time and we take it in turns to provide the food.

As we didn't arrange for him to see us during the week this week he suggested either coming over in Saturday or to take both me and D to lunch but as it is the weekend I would have thought he would have just invited my D. I declined his invitation after much anxiety because I didn't want him to feel I was always available however I can't help but think this could be a very tiny step for him?

The reason why I think this is when we had a bit of an argument a few weeks ago when me and D had a melt down about him renting another place he said he couldn't understand because he thought things were going well with him coming over and then we went crazy again! Again he said he just needs some space which I thought I was giving him. I'm so confused I don't really know what the next step is... Should I knock family evening on the head even though he likes coming over? Some of my friends say he is cake eating....