New here and separated

[SH_]

Coly, I see many LBS mix up and mis apply DB principles because they mix all of it together.

If I understand your sitch correctly you S has separated from you.
You are in a LRT stage which differs as far as goal setting and doing things differently if it does not work.

Goal setting when in the LRT really can only be goals for you and your actions. You can not have any expectations of your h.

Doing things differently if they are not working is sound advice in life, but you must be clear on what exactly you deem as not working.
You sound as if your going " dim" should have some results from your h. Those are expectations on him that you can not have at this point.
Read sandis rules if that helps keep it more simple for better understanding.
It would benefit you most at this point to stay focused on you and your path to healing and becoming the person only a fool would leave.
He has to decide to come join you on that path. Read and re read the section about the LRT.
That is where you will glean the information you seek.