Newly Separated

[AndrewP]

LonelyW - I certainly feel for you. You did "everything" you could to save your M and probably feel that it just didn't work.

I can't say whether you are dealing with a mid life crisis, a "walk away husband" or any of the other labels you will see us use here but the biggest thing is that YOU are hurting and you have children who are depending on you.

One of the best pieces of advice that I've gotten here that I'm going to pass on is to first think about yourself. You need to be strong to get through this and strong for your children. It will help us get some context if we knew what your ages etc were - as you can see from my signature line I'm probably old enough to be your father - this pain and drama can happen at any time.

Your H is currently lost and confused - chasing after him will only drive him further away. I presume you want him to come back to you and your family of his own free will and recommit. He needs to walk that path alone. One story that might help in Cadet's list is the Lighthouse story. I tend to make jokes but the one variation of that that sticks with me is someone commenting that they needed to be a Lighthouse and not a tugboat. Let your light shine brightly knowing that both you and H are in your own fogs.

Keep posting and remember to visit around this community. There's a lot of support here that has helped me in my darkest days and I hope it helps you too. There's a lot of excellent information in Cadet's links and I strongly encourage you to read through them all and then visit other threads. A lot of us here are men but there are a number of women struggling with the similar issues to you too. This sorrow doesn't have a gender line.