The Fight for Self

[CT1118]

CT1118 --
Sorry to get stuck on details but ... the above text you posted was confusing to me. Are there some typos in there?
Your W dropped the 2nd bomb, right? Not you?
The email you mention ... was in response to your W dropping the bomb, right?
If you did drop bombs on your wife, what were they?

ForGump - no, no typos, I try to keep it short sometimes, but may not always be best for communicating understanding. All below is scattered through my old threads, but happy to update in brief w/ a timeline:
1. 1st BD I consider when I told W (who became WW only hours later)that I knew about and had proof of her A and knew who OM was. This was end of Feb. 2016.
2. WW had told me she would end A to work on herself while we were S, told many lies to make me believe this. I tried to believe WW thinking I had to trust her at some point.
3. First weekend of July while on a family trip WW's behavior got very urgent and strange. Triggered my Spidey-sense in a way I had not felt since the month before 1BD. Tried to resist urges, but had not found this place yet and had no support network...ended up going onto OM's social media pages (WW had blocked me and has high security, but his dumb ass had not and has no security, and neither of them knew I have multiple social media logins for professional reasons - you block names, not people). I saw OM post some general thing and WW had commented that they would do dinner and her comment was about 10 minutes after I dropped her off that day. That night S4 and I were getting supper and I live close to WW, saw OM truck in her parking area.
4. Felt like I was in deja vu all over again. Found this place - immediately began seeking answers as to whether or not I should tell WW I knew she was lying. Had no education.
5. Spent time here and elsewhere educating/training myself. Seemed a better alternative than jail given how desperately I wanted to slowly break the bones inside OM's body.
6. Struggled for a couple weeks on what to do, ultimately began 180's read DR/DB book, posted & read here. Ultimately it was a response from Roist & Sandi which answered my question - generally, if I felt I had to tell WW about the lies and the A continuing, know if would be my choice for me and be prepared for consequences (they both encouraged the other direction with my choice, but made it clear it was a choice).
7. Meanwhile, I was seeing affect from my 180's. After a few days of 180, WW wrote me an email that was very loving, but no apology or acceptance of actions. Reading that combined with a comment WW made about my positive changes (why didn't you do this when we were together") flipped my switch.
8. This was 2nd BD - me telling her, yes again. Spent a few days thinking of how I would present. Wrote an email to say I was tired of lying, I know WW is lying, WW is free to make own choices, I will no longer be assisting beyond S4 matter, etc. It was much less curt than that. WW called literally right as I was going to hit send. I ended up explaining everything over the phone. The bombs were: me accepting what I had done in the M very briefly with a single apology to a 4 sentence paragraph, me stating that WW is free to figure life out on here own and I cannot stand the constant affection w/ no effort to move back towards an R, me stating I knew about ongoing A and could not be subjected to constant lies, me stating S4 is asking questions I cannot answer, me out.
9. Hours later, email comes in from WW accepting responsibility, explaining how WW does not know or understand what is happening to her, mentions other things, apologizes, loves me, does not deserve me, etc. (these are the three emails I refer to above)
10. I remain doing what I was doing before, but going more dim. And I felt a hell of a lot better.
11. 3 days later - late night phone call from WW crying, apologizing.
12. Here I am, journey continues.