One question I do have. Is my IC suggested that I come up with what my "needs" are for reconciling. So I know if W comes to me and says she wants to work on it to not be eager and to basically say something like "I want to believe you but it's not that simple" and only give her my conditions if she asks what it will take. Etc etc.
so I agree with my IC that I need to have at least some idea of what my conditions are before this could come up. So some conditions I'm thinking are most of the ones that vets on here suggest like
1. Full transparency
2. Writing the letter to OW
3. MC
Etc

But one I'm wondering is since W has initiated the D should one of my conditions be that she stop D proceedings? I don't want to be "controlling" but I feel like how committed can she be to working on us if she's not willing to stop the D?

W:32 M:26
T:5 yrs M: 3 yr
BD: JUN 2016
W Moved out: early JUL 2016
W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016
EA: 06/16?
PA: 07/16
Moved in w/ ow: 07/16
D final: 10/16