New here and separated

[ForGump]

Coly23, you gotta believe that you're an attractive, interesting person, and that MANY men would love to have lunch with you. And least of all your H should know it. He may not realize that right now because his head is in a fog. But should the fog clear, he'll remember why he found you attractive in the first place.

I think saying No to lunch w/ him is a GREAT 180. I'm sure it made him pause.... But this is the first step. Don't take a step backward.