Keep Wearing Wedding Band?

[ForGump]

CT1118-- great point about doing my own flip. It's a matter of degrees, I suppose. I think I've always been far more at peace w/ all the frustrations of married, compromised, coordinated life w/ my W. So I don't think it'll be a huge flip. Feels more like turning a big, slow banked curve on an empty desert road at 40mph on my bike. And I think the new direction is good for me -- to GAL, be less clingy, more independent, less afraid to upset the cart, be more interesting as a person, pursue more interesting things. I think these are all good for a new relationship (whether it's w/ my W or someone new). A switch is being flipped ... but it doesn't feel abrupt to me, more like stage lights in a playhouse theatre that dim slowly, curtains drop, then a hushed moment later, curtains rise as lights slowly brighten and there is a new backdrop. A slower transition, but I hope to make it.

And I do hope it's apparent to my W. It seems like to many W's, GAL & detaching appears abrupt, artificial, and weird. Validating sounds to them like creepy "therapy talk," and new, positive things you're doing seems like shallow, artificial changes: "You haven't done that for over ten years. Why you doing that now?!?!?"