WAW, bouts of anger still spewing, awaiting the D.

[SH_]

I agree that I may never know about her reasons, for leaving or figure out answers that bring closure to the sitch.
I think my challenge is trying to understand my own emotions and or lack there of.

3 months ago I was an emotional wreck and wanted to fix everything with her.
Now, I can't muster up a single feeling other than annoyance at her occasional outburst or passive aggressive behavior. I can't see any possible future whatsoever where she could actually do enough for me to want to reconcile.
Detachment is the ever elusive action around here. Yet I think I flew past that to indifference. She rattled the hell out of me up to her moving out and just a couple of weeks after, then, well then I do not find any emotional feelings now except the occasional sense of pity for her. And that is not an emotion that I want. I want to forgive her, but not sure I can in this state of mind..........now I just babble on. Ugh. I guess the lack of feeling is better than the alternative hell I was in for a number of months, right?

It is me that I seek to understand. It is my own internal demons that I can't seem to make sense of.