The Fight for Self

[CT1118]

I went to my IC tonight, took my S4. IC worked w/ him for about 5 minutes on listening skills then gave him an assignment to play quietly with lego type blocks in the corner while IC & I spoke.

I had not seen IC in a few weeks. So IC had not known my story until the few days before the 2nd BD, so I caught her up. I printed and let her read the very loving email my WW wrote me a few days before I dropped 2nd bomb. I printed the email I wrote WW dropping the 2nd bomb(I ended up telling WW the contents of it on the phone, not via the email). And lastly, I let IC read my WW's response to my dropping of the 2nd bomb. IC read them all in a row - took about 10 minutes. Then it got real pretty quick.

By end of emails, IC had a watery eye, no sht, and then she recovered pretty quick - like I saw something I shouldn't have. IC said something like "honesty like this just doesn't happen, you are very brave [CT118].[name of WW] loves you but is really hurting inside, and doesn't know what to do. Keep your space, and keep giving her space". I'm sure I am not quoting word for word, but I am pretty close. I thanked her, didn't know what else to say. I thought it was pretty cool that her advice was damn near identical to what SH_ and ForGump offered me earlier today - great work guys and it did not cost me some dollars to hear what you had to say.

Then we discussed S4 and played some board games with him. Her specialty is child behavior, there must be a point to the board games, maybe following rules/instructions? So what did S build w/ the blocks... he built a fking house and used three of the people figures to put a mom/dad/child in the house. Yeah, I know, tissue time in crazy town. I asked S4 what he built and he said it was a place for people to be together, so he may not have truly known what he did, but it was obviously a house and there was obviously a family in it. I didn't cry or even feel like it, nor was I angry, but my heart throbbed a massive pump when I saw it. I will not be sharing any of the above w/ WW or anyone else - perhaps here just because this place is anonymous. Some stories are just for ourselves and what S4 did, I doubt I will ever forget it. That boy, my son, he is the champion over me.