Hey brother you are going through a range of normal emotions. Grab on to something that is bolted down and let the storm blow over.
2 things I want ya to remember and one thing I want you to do today.
First , it is not ALL your fault. I won't explain this you will just have to trust me until you are in more firm footing with your emotional state.
Second, you are a father and you will let that responsibility be your focus as those kiddos need you.
And now to help calm the storm please google, F*ck that a guided meditation. Then sit down in the meditation form, close your eyes and let you mind empty out.
You should feel some calm and at least a little smile will emerge. Rinse and repeat as many times as needed
Be well today my friend
LOL - That's not helping me to meditate! Thanks SH_. I'm doing better now, my kids are with me for a few days so I'm happy again:)
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
