Look Forward & Ignore the Anger Spew

[rich4j]

Sorry for the lack of responses and thanks for the input/posts ....

I have been slammed with work and figuring out my life and move. The range of emotions in the last few weeks has been overwhelming.

We had to put our beloved dog down who was our first kid. It was symbolic to me of the passing of our relationship too. It brought us closer together for a brief few days and we opened up to each other alot more on what went wrong. While she still throws blame at me it was good to stand firm and let her know where she went wrong.

Second big emotional hit was telling our D7. She took it better than we did and I was so proud of her. I know it will hit her when she figures this out a bit more but no tears and just questions that were reasonable. I am so damn proud of her. It's all I care about right now besides me getting to a better place.

With the move coming up this weekend reality has hit us both. Splitting up evrything for good and me actually moving stuff over there now before the movers come was nuts. I walked around my new place and felt a sigh of relief but a cloud of loneliness. Normal I guess....

She has flipped from spewing angry texts at me (I don't respond much besides Ok or whatever) to crying her eyes out in her bedroom (I hear her sometimes). She was balling today as she said this is so hard for her blah blah blah. She was leaving for vacation while I move with D7 and we hugged and cried a bit together. I think reality has hit her...and while I want to think she still loves me and wants me back (some day) I have to bury that stuff and harden the heart.

I did tell her I love her and that I hope she finds happiness. I take the high road...for now as I think its the best path for me. We will continue to fight over the divorce finances and it probably will flip back to ugly. But i have decided to state a few things and then just be very distant moving forward except for dealing with our daughter. I stated I do love her, I want her to find what she is looking for but understand and validated how confused I think she has been for months. And I am working on forgiveness but am looking forward to finding my happy place. I think I shocked her with my openness and truthfulness.


I hope to overcome the loneliness factor of her not being there ..and that doesn't get replaced in the near term with a new girlfriend etc...its the bond we shared.

I can only hope that being apart, moving our divorce forward, and each of us finding our way leads us to a better place. Whatever that place ends up being...