Out of in house S - On My Own (11)

[vise82]

Hey

Sort of a down time now.

S7 had soccer, W was there. She did not say hello to me. She was on her phone for a bit. I was with S4 and when S7 was off the field I would play with S4. When watching the game W said nothing to me and I said nothing to her. She talked to the coach more then me.

The contact is way down now with physical separation. I get no emails now, no texts. or very few.

It used to be a daily routine for her to send an email but if you look back in my posts here it was mostly kid logistics.

I drove by her street as I was late for work and her car was not there. Don't know where she is sleeping. But it gets easier to see that. I see it as a sign she has move on.

I am still having a hard time with still being married on paper and moving forward. I think she lets it be like that just so her benefits continue from my work. Mind reading I bet she thinks she is single, and we are done.

With out hearing it from her mouth my mind thinks there is hope. But she did say it many months ago that she is done, and her actions show that she is done. but I still feel like I need to talk about it with her. Are we done? do you see us getting back together? Why have you not filed for divorce? Are you dating (sleeping with OM) Is there someone else?

Seems like I am just holding on until I know. I need proof. I need to see this. I was thinking of taking next Thursday off work so I can see where she goes, to get proof.

We did not have any talk about dating other people. The last time it was mentioned was a year ago when the MC said not to. No discussion about what was happening after we signed the separation agreement. DBing tells me no R talks so I avoided it at all costs.

Do I pursue now ? was thinking of asking her if she wants to go out for dinner with the boys, and see if there is anything signs of interest from her end. Or do I wait more. continue to work on me. I find it hard to move forward with my one foot still in this MR. This piece of paper still hold a lot of meaning for me. I am legally married and still feel like I am morally. I do not consider myself single right now.

Or do I wait more, enduring this pain of not knowing for sure where her head is at with me.