Yesterday I was looking for a text from July 2015. I overheard xW bad-mouthing me to the kids, confronted her in text messages, she denied it. When looking for those texts, I accidentally went back to July 2014 and found a couple interesting ones.
xW: So are you getting turned on with what I am wearing? We won't have kids tonight so don't make any plans unless it involves something sexual with me.
Me: I had dream the other night that I made a joke about sex, and you turned me down, I assumed in the dream it was because of the time of the month. Odd thing to dream about, I even get denied in my dreams.
xW: I keep thinking the reason you don't want to go anywhere with me is because you are embarrassed to be seen with me. Maybe you have a girl on the side that you don't want to run into? These are things I worry about. My monthly just got done, so I was excited to spend quality time with you. Now seems like you aren't interested? No idea what you are thinking you don't talk much to me.
Me: I thought you'd be able to tell by my actions that I do have an interest.
xW: OK, I agree you are showing interest, your right
So... I read this yesterday, and yet again thought "WTF??"
1. What made her think I didn't have an interest in HER? I didn't say anything like that, I just shared a dream. She knew I couldn't keep my hands off of her, I would grab her butt a couple times a day, I would hug her and tell her I loved her every morning and every night, and as often as I could during the day.
2. Note how quickly it swapped to her insecurities, and then to "crazy land" accusations, and quickly back again. All within one text message. Is it any wonder why I was confused every day?
3. And then the last text is to deny she doubted me in the first place?
4. How did it fit in that I didn't talk to her much? Maybe I didn't talk to her because I was simply confused so often.
Questions: - WHY do I miss her? - What do I need to learn from this to use for future R's? - How do I deal with her moving forward? We need to coparent, but she is sooo bitter!!
